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I got out of class really early tonight, because half my class didn't show up, and going through people's drawings pre-presentation goes really fast that way.

So, I called my sister, to check on her.

In summary, to spare you (and because I can't, and don't want to remember all the nasty little details):

The non-immediate family first, because that's easier to deal with. Mom's cousin, the one in Saudi, found out she has a 3" tumor in her brain, last week. They've done surgery, she came through fine, haven't heard what the prognosis is, but I'm told she's pretty upbeat. **crosses fingers** (I've only met this cousin twice, but she and Mom are still close, so this affects how much Mom-maintenance I need to do.)

Second, Sis told me that one of our first cousin's daughter's (did you follow all that?) is knocked up and dropped out of school. She's 16, and due in August. Her mother, my "works at Walmart white-trash" cousin, is thrilled to have a grandchild on the way, and is not at all worried about A dropping out of school. L, the girl's mother, got pregnant her senior year of high school, and barely finished, because her father made her. L isn't the brightest penny in the jar, and would have barely finished school without the added difficulty of a baby.* We'd all had higher hopes for L's two daughters, because they had more potential than their mother, and looked like they might be using it, but now....both girls are out of school, and B is only 14. L says it's because she was wanting to transfer B to a different school that wouldn't do that in the middle of the semester, but that's bull. **shakes head again** Not much to be done on that score.


And now, what you've all been waiting for: what has my sister done now?

She made it back from Mississippi--20 hrs there, 23 hrs back, since the trip back was from Florida (because Harry thought the boys would enjoy it, and insisted). She ended up stranded in Tulsa, exhausted and with just enough for a hotel room for the night, but not enough money for that and gas home. Her boyfriend took care of that, so he's good for something. (Her boyfriend also fixed Harry's truck, because he knew how, and Harry wouldn't send her money to take care of it.)

Harry sent his check card home with her, then called and had it shut off an hour after she left.

Sis's divorce isn't final yet. The paperwork's all done, except for the part where Harry picks it up and signs it. He's refusing to go pick it up. Conceivably, he could drag this part out the whole time he's active duty, and keep her in limbo. Once he's no longer active, she can force him to do something, but not until then.

Oh, and that part where he said at the beginning that he wouldn't contest it? Yeah. You guessed it too.

That part where she told him about the boyfriend right off the get-go? Ya'll were right about that too.

According to her cell phone records, he made 4000 minutes' worth of calls to her in the past month, tyring to talk/cajole/argue/threaten her out of completing the divorce. She's keeping the records, as evidence of harrassment.

He had someone break into the house while she was in Mississipi, to take pictures. He told her that his friend (the one who's getting all of Harry's paychecks while he's on active duty) had come over to fix the locks, but the neighbors told her that the guy broke in, wanedered around taking pictures, THEN fixed the lock (but not the window in back, which he broke to get in to begin with). Harry's trying to prove she's an unfit parent. Not that that will go very far, with her working for SRS, but it's still stressful. He told her he's going to file for full custody of the youngest (just over 2, now) when he gets back, so his son will have a chance to get to know him. (And yes, Sis had something extremely snippy to say about that one.)

She's also been told by some of her neighbors that Harry has people watching her and following her around town. Which is problematic, since they're reporting to him how often she's gone, and she has a job were she's on call for a week at a time, and on-call may mean making a trip to Dodge City to pick up a kid at 9 at night.

For the first time that I've ever heard of, Harry's family is by his side, and thinks Sis is the Whore of Babylon. It's very odd. Always before, he could never do anything good enough for them to notice, but there you go.

HE called our mother, because he thought Mom needed to know that Sis was shacking up with some guy, and that wasn't good for her grandchildren. So now Mom knows about the boyfriend, and isn't happy. Sis has been telling her that Harry blew the relationship out of proportion (from what I've heard, he didn't, but hey, if it keeps Mom's blood pressure down).

Mom called Sis's husband and unloaded on him (called him an unfit parent, abusive to Sis and the kids, the whole bit). I was all excited about that part, until Sis told me Mom called him back a few days later and apologized (because that wasn't Christian behavior). **shakes head**










*Yes, Tristan, this would be one of my boogan relatives. The daughter, not my uncle. My uncle has spent all of his working life writing accounting software for banks. But he lives in, for Kansas, a fairly large city, and let his kids go wild in their teen years. The son has finally (in the past 5 years) become a responsible adult, but the daughter never did, and never will. I don't know where L got her rather Arkansas-ish ideas of what your daughters ought to be doing at the age of 16.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-03-22 02:58 am (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2006-03-22 03:37 am (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2006-03-22 03:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] noveldevice.livejournal.com
Of course, I haven't posted the big boogan news from my family yet.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-03-22 03:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] treeskin.livejournal.com
?????


Please, share. It'll make me feel better.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-03-22 03:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] noveldevice.livejournal.com
Did I tell you when I was over last week that one of my grandmother's sisters' husbands is currently in prison for child molestation and sodomy?

(no subject)

Date: 2006-03-22 03:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] noveldevice.livejournal.com
See below, somehow I responded to my own comment.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-03-22 03:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] treeskin.livejournal.com
Eeeep. No, you didn't. **blinks** Gak. That's really disturbing.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-03-22 04:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] noveldevice.livejournal.com
Well, I finally got the full story from [livejournal.com profile] la_soeur the other day. Grandma's sister Hazel's husband Harry was put in minimum security prison in September for child molestation and assault for something that happened about ten years ago. He'd molested one of our second-second Shawna's (the one with the meth habit and all the kids who's younger than me but looks about fifty) friends. She was watching Oprah last fall and they had a program on recovered memories and it triggered her. When she was a kid visiting Hazel and Harry with Shawna, Harry molested her and she'd repressed the memory. Because the clock starts ticking when the memory is recovered, he could be charged, and was. He pled guilty and is in prison, although he could be paroled in as little as a few more months.

[livejournal.com profile] la_soeur, of course, believes that the girl is lying because she's a promiscuous drug addict who didn't remember for a decade. I said "Girl, you were a psych major, think about it. Promiscuity and self-medication are standard for kids who were molested and didn't get help. So is repression of memories. So she watched Oprah and is triggered." [livejournal.com profile] la_soeur said that Harry only pled guilty because his lawyer told him it would be too expensive to fight it. I said "that's what child molesters always say." Then she tells me that Dad found out Harry has a police record--he was charged with assaulting young women twice, but the charges were dropped both times. Ranj said "Aha" when I told him that part. Of course Harry pled. He's guilty. Who knows how many other kids or young women he's assaulted in those ten years? And before? Grr. Grandma didn't tell our part of the family because she was ashamed. Beth found out by eavesdropping but didn't tell anyone what she knew till it came out more generally because she didn't think it was anyone's business.

So. There's the story. [livejournal.com profile] la_soeur said that things like that couldn't happen in our family, so I told her about the time an ancient great-uncle wagged his shrivelled penis at me and some of the girl-cousins at a family reunion when I was 14 or so, and reminded her about our Great-Aunt Sis, who was molested by our great-grandfather's younger brother for years till her dad caught him and threw him out (he was living with them).

Kuh-ray-zee. But as Ranj pointed out, 25% of women said in a poll that they'd been molested by a family member--no one thinks it can happen in their family, but it's a lot more common than most people want to admit.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-03-22 05:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sdemory.livejournal.com
Have your sister's attorney contact Harry's CO; she'll want to do so first, though, to make sure that there's a human face and to hammer home the "woman in harm's way, needs to make a clean break" side of things.

A commanding officer can get paperwork signed with quickness. My dad did it a few times.

(no subject)

Date: 2006-03-22 06:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] treeskin.livejournal.com
Thanks, I'll pass that on.

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