an update on Grandma

Every time I've called Grandma this week, she's sounded worse, weaker, more tired, and less able to follow the conversation. So, By kept the kids yesterday, and I day-tripped west to visit while I had a chance. She was thrilled, and while it was just the two of us, seemed to be able to follow the conversation. When Mom got there, she stopped talking and seemed to be having trouble focusing and tracking things. After Mom and I had left the hospital, she told me that she thinks Grandma looked worse yesterday than the day she went back in.

Mom heard from Grandma's doc this afternoon; he said that Grandma cannot take care of herself, and can't stay in her apartment alone.

Not a surprise, especially after I saw her yesterday. Back in September, Grandma looked old, yesterday she looked diminished and frail and fragile. She had trouble sitting up to talk to me, has had trouble giving herself her shots (let alone getting the timing right), and couldn't get herself dressed or to the bathroom without help. So, yeah.

I don't know if Mom talked to Grandma about it tonight. When I talked to Mom yesterday after visiting Grandma, Mom said she was nerving herself up to have that talk. Mom wanted Grandma to have a little time to think about it and get used to the idea, and not just feel dumped. But I really think it is the best option for her. And definitely for Mom--Mom made herself sick in the two weeks between hospital trips, trying to work all day then spend 4 hrs or so taking care of Grandma, before going home and trying to do things for herself. Not practical at all, and Sis and I were trying to convince her of that, but it took her doc to get through on that one.

It's sad to watch Grandma slip away from us like this. We've known it was coming, but it's very sad.