So I just got off the phone with my sister

( Cut because it's long and melodramatic, and it's family )

So, let me state, in public and for the record:

My father is an alcoholic who refuses to admit he has a problem. In his eyes, any effects his behavior have on his life, or the lives of the people around him, are not his fault. He is misunderstood and put upon, and has been all his life.

I am an adult, and can choose to remove myself from unhealthy situations and people. I am no longer a child trapped in those circumstances.

I owe him nothing. I owe his sister nothing. If she chooses to try to help him, that is her decision and the consequences are hers to deal with. I will not allow her to use filial loyalty to blackmail me into helping an unrepentant alcoholic who's just going to drown his rescuer.

I choose to not allow this man back into my life. I choose to not allow this man into the lives of my children. They will be much healthier without him.

I will not permit him on my property, or in my home.

I will support any family member who also chooses to remove him from their life. I will maintain minimal contact with those that support him, because I don't have the energy to fix them when he's dragging them down. And he will.

Anyone who wants to argue with me on that one can take a flying leap off a tall bridge.